Abeo' Speaks: A Moment In The Life………….

A Peek Inside The Mind of Abeo'

New Year, New Me January 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Abeo' @ 12:15 AM
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Peace be with you world. So I know I haven’t posted anything in a loooooong time, but I now have access to internet and i’m going to try to update this weekly.

I have offcially been in NY for a year now, so I figured my first posting would be on the anniversary of my move here. Last year was such a hard, yet life changing year for me. I’ve been thru so much and have learned so much. I know (and pray) that 2010 will bring bigger and better things for me. It’s a new year for the world, a new year for me (i’m a january baby) and time for the newness.


So moving from your parents’ house to your own place (much less states away) will force you to get your finances together. If you don’t, you’ll be in the world of trouble, or really broke and back at mom’s and dad’s. Being on my own has made me realize how much money I wasted while I was living at home. I had a good paying job, and didn’t have to worry about paying for rent, or food. Just car note, insurance, and cell phone. I could’ve easily paid off my bills, but I chose not to. But it’s ok. I’ve learned my lesson, and in-sha Allah (if G-d wills) i’ll have them all paid off in 2010 (except student loans of course). During this past year, I have seriously struggled. I admit i’ve eaten peanut butter for lunch and dinner. Not because I was broke, but because I still wasn’t managing my money and after paying for rent and other bills, I was broke until the next paycheck. But no more of that. I’ve completely redone my budget so I understand it better. I’ve paid off two of my four bills within a matter of months (YES!!!). I’m on my way to financial stability. I’m working on building up my credit, because eventually I’d like to buy a house with my husband one day. No i’m not engaged. Which brings me to my next point:


Two months into living here, I met a brotha who at first, I thought wouldn’t matter, but our relationship grew into more than that. For the first time, I fell in love with someone. I mean, we talked about having kids, traveling, going back to Detroit to meet my family, marriage, all the workings. I met his family, friends, told my family and friends about him. I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We broke up for a minute, got back together, and then all of a sudden he just cuts me off. No phone calls, no voicemails, no “happy b-day” wishes nothing. So I guess you can say he broke up with me without actually telling me lol. Everything happens for a reason, and I guess we just weren’t meant to be, but it HURTS LIKE HELL. I admit, I got my heart broken. Even while I’m typing this, i’m fighting back tears. But I’ve learned from this relationship. I’ve learned alot about myself as well as interracting with the opposite sex. And even though the way it ended hurts the most, I still don’t regret any of it. I’m am grateful to G-d to have met him. Even if he did hurt me, i’ve learned from the relationship. And even though we may not be meant to be together (which hurts like HELL), there was a reason that G-d brought him into my life. And I’m truly thankful he did. Because I’ve come out of it with much more than I thought I would.

So that means that i’m back to the drawing board. Back to looking for my unicorn. I think that makes this break-up even harder. Especially when so many of my friends are married and my best friend is getting married. One starts thinking “hey? what about me? when will my turn come?” Being the single friend sucks!!! And i’m sick of it. But I have to be patient. Even though I just turned 26 and my clock is ticking, i’m still patient. We plan, and G-d plans. Surely, G-d is the best of planners.


I’ve always been fairly independent, but this year has been completely different. I’ve always done what I’ve wanted, and never cared what people thought, but now, not only do I still not care, but I don’t have to worry about it because there isn’t anyone here lol!! Aww, the beauty of moving away from home.

So what’s in store for 2010? In-sha Allah nothing but greatness. I only gave myself one resolution for 2009. That was to move to NY and Al-hamdulilah (Praise be to G-d) that has happened and I’ve been here for a year. So what about 2010? What will be my resolution for this year? I’ve decided to give myself a few and to accomplish them all.

1. Get financially stable

Like I said above, I want to improve my credit so I can buy a house in the future. I already have a plan set up to pay off my bills. That should be done in a few months. Financial stability here I come!

2. Get back into school

My goal is to start school in April. That was one of the main reasons for me moving to NY. Time to get up on it.

3. Get into the nearest gym

Most people say “Oh I wanna lose 20 pounds” and whatnot. But I know me, and I know if I set that type of goal for myself, it won’t happen. Why? Well in order to lose weight you need to workout, which I don’t. So how can I say i’ma lose weight if I don’t do what’s needed. Once I get into the actual workout, then I can set more goals for myself. But for now, I just need to get started.

4. Improve my relationship skills

Hard to do when you’re single right? Wrong. Remember, this wasn’t just some flemsy thing. Those of you who know me know that I don’t do the”open relationship/just chillin” type thing. And while I may be single, I can look back at the relationship and evaluate my end of it. Now in the “what did I do wrong” sense of thnigs, because I didn’t do anything wrong, but in the “what can I do to make sure my next relationship is the best relationship”. I want to work on being the best woman I can be. I’m a very independent woman, as many woman are nowadays, but sometime we have to learn to be ladies and let gentlemen be gentlemen. I want to better myself, because then that will better my (future) relationship.

Suggested reading:Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment by Steve Harvey

5. Get involved

Back in Detroit, I was what you may call a social butterfly. I mean I was busy all the time, but in a good way. I enjoyed it. During 2009, I was just trying to adjust to living on my own, but now that I been here for a year, it’s time to get comfy. The is NY of all places, there’s always something to do. It’s time for me to get back into the community and start working.

6. Regulary update this blog

Yeah I know I’ve said that before, but since I have a laptop now, I can update it for really real lol. I wanna try to do it every Sunday. I just chose to update it on a wednesday since that is the anniversary of my move.

I’m so excitied about 2010!! I think this will be an amazing year for me. 2009 was difficult, but surely with difficulty comes ease.

Reflecting on the past, preparing for the future......

Stay tuned for another moment in the life………………………..


3 Responses to “New Year, New Me”

  1. Sabreen Says:

    I am so proud of you. You accomplished your goal made it to New York and now you have been there for a year now! I am glad you were able to experience love, and he can kick rocks girl, because I know you are a good catch, he just missed out. Moving on to the next! Keep writing your goals, Inshallah you will become very successful.


  2. abeospeaks Says:

    Thanks Sabreen!!!

  3. Thanks for the link. Have fun on becoming the new you.

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