Been a long time…… December 16, 2008
Yeah so, I know I’ve been neglecting my blog. It wasn’t intentional. I’ve been working a whole lot. I was up for 36hrs straight from Saturday Night to Sunday Night, and I’m still tired from that lol. So what’s been keeping me sane? This right here:
Stay tuned for another moment in the life………….
World AIDS Day December 1, 2008
So today is World AIDS Day and I encourage everyone, especially African-American Women to learn as much as they can about this disease. It runs rampant through our community and we don’t even know it. Please take the time out to visit the World AIDS Day Campaign Website as well as other and educate yourself.
Below is a note that a friend of mine posted on Facebook. I thought it was very interesting and heartfelt. It’s kinda long though.
My cousin was 33 years old when he closed his chapter on the fight for HIV/AIDS.
No…correction…he was 33 years young.
A man too young to close his eyes, too young to not see his own child grow up and become a man, too young to not take a trip around the world or to pay his last mortgage on his first home, or to sit out the backyard with me drinking beer and sharing a Newport (when I smoked, of course, LOL).
Thirty three years old is much too young. Much too young. Especially when it could have been prevented.
This was no blood transfusion, or medical accident that caused him to find himself with what many individuals ignorantly and callously call “The Package.” I was 15…he was 18….we ran the same circles, looking for the same foolishness. He got caught out there…I didn’t. I could give God praise for that, but I’d feel guilty because we did the same thing at the same time.
Somehow…I didn’t get popped.
I miss my cousin. I love him…I loved him. I never loved a man the way I loved my cousin…not even my own Daddy, not even my husband. Only Jesus could come closer than that, LOL. I remember having a crush on him as a child and my parents sitting me down telling me that I can’t like him like that because we’re cousins. Who knows about that stuff at 6 years old? But I made the connection and we were best friends ever since. I gave him my Matchbox Cars and all of my Comic Book collections (from as far back as 1978). He had them until he died…his son has them now.
The first time I ever got drunk…he gave the drink to me. The first time I ever smoked…he passed the Newport to my lips. The first time I knew how dangerous I was, he put me D (after punching his best friend in the face for trying to make a pass at me). the first time I knew how cool it was to be an intelligent beautiful black woman, he shared that to me. I loved hip-hop and house parties because of my cousin. I loved hanging around family from hanging around him.
And sadly…that’s all gone from me.
Tomorrow’s World AIDS day….and I wont wear the red ribbon on the outside. That’s so clique to me right now…putting on the ribbon or wearing Red, when everyday is World AIDS Day, because everyday I think about my cousin. I still send him e-mail to an account he’s never answering, but he used to. I still haven’t removed his name from my IM Buddy list, because I hope that one day he will log on and we pick up on hiking on each other. And I know he’s present with the Lord (he got saved as a result of this experience) but I miss is physical being. Being able to sit on the couch and be held by him while watching TV…playing with his kids and card games on Thanksgiving.
So I won’t wear the ribbon on the outside…because since I got the news of his contraction back in the fall of 1996, I wore the ribbon tightly around my heart and I stayed a strong love and longing for my cousin, that they find a cure, that he not gets too sick, that we all can grow old together. But he had to leave me…sooner that I imagined but all according the will of God. I miss my dear sweet cousin, and implore those who can to please live responsibly so that somebody won’t lament over you they way I’m lamenting over the love I lost.
Please if you are sexually active –we all know what The Bible says on that, or any other Religious Text for that matter. If you decide to make a grown up decision, then be mature about it. Just because he/she…looks clean, or have a decent job, or makes great money with benefits, does not mean they cant carry a virus. Rev. Rae Lewis Thornton shared at a NSBE conference how she only dated and became sexually active with 6-figure men, Lawyers, Engineers and the like. Well, one of those well to do 6 figure salary holders gave her HIV and she now lives with AIDS.
Please if you are choosing multiple partners, know you are causing for yourself a multiple risk of infection, disease and a shortened life span. Ask yourself (and if this were me I’d do this as well as a personal inventory) why do you need so many partners at one time? What is missing from your life that you can not find fulfillment with one partner for the rest of your life? Why can’t you date casually and platonically until you find the right one to settle down with? What are you so afraid of? We live in an age were sex is available and encouraged as often as eating Breakfast in the morning (because it’s the most important meal of the day, LOL) but we keep our lips tight on the casualties of sex…free love and just simply free balling all day long with different mens and them…I know, pot calling the kettle what? I understand your confusion, but we must be careful if we choose not to be good.
Please if you are thinking only about HIV/AIDS from a national context, please consider the GLOBAL implications of this pandemic, as well as the fact that MORE WOMEN OF COLOR DIE FROM THIS DISEASE THAN ANY OTHER GROUP. That Dominican Sex Worker, that South African Servant, that Indian Mother of 3…all of them are possible suspects and casualties of abuse, rape, oppression and total submission of themselves to their partners. We must encourage the end of violence, global violence against women through the varied uses (sex included). We must end the silence on behalf of the rest of the world.
Please if you know of someone who lives with the disease…resepect them with the love and respect God grants us daily. They should live a life in dignity and not surrounded by fear. You are not living with HIV/AIDS, they are, so stop stressing them out! For as much as I wanted to help my cousin, I couldn not help him being afraid to sit next to him or sharing a bite of a sandwich (which I did and I’m still negative years later). Love your loved one…that love will keep them strong and have them live longer than you know.
Finally…I’m not meaning to ramble, but if you choose to wear your ribbon on tomorrow, please don’t ever take it off, but keep it tied to your heart as a reminder of a loved one out there who depends on your life for their survival and on your choice to ensure them a happier future in knowing you will be around to grow old together with.
Be blessed…rest well…rest right.
PS….Mann…I miss you and love you and cant wait to find you in Heaven just to kiss you and hold you. I pray God granted you eternal peace.(1972-2005)
Stay tuned for another moment in the life……………………