Abeo' Speaks: A Moment In The Life………….

A Peek Inside The Mind of Abeo'

A Black Woman’s Guide To Survival… August 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Abeo' @ 7:08 AM

I got this from a friend. So true…….


Friendship is not charity, it’s a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don’t be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your ‘best friends forever’. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you – it’s ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a ‘friend’.


Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don’t have to beat yourself up about behaviour you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations – you just solved a problem!


HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America . You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having ‘relations’ with someone. In fact, you’re stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else’s hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: ‘Look at me – what am I supposed to do now?!’ All men ‘play with themselves’. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on ‘self- love’ until you’re certain that he deserves to enter your temple.


People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don’t like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other’s circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.


Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being ‘pleasantly demanding’. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true ‘lady’ means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference in how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.


Staying in touch with what’s going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn’t take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don’t forget – parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something ‘serious’.

4. Travel.

Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever.

3. Be Proud To Be Black.

Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride – as black people, we are so very special. Don’t EVER feel as if you aren’t equal to another person simply because you’re black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you’ve heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you’re familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn’t mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black.

2. Have a Cause.

As long as you’re here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community.

1. Love Yourself.

This is #1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn’t love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you.


“Why you doin’ community service? You on probation or sumthin’?” August 21, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Abeo' @ 8:42 PM
Tags: , , ,

Yes, that was the question that was asked to me by a co-worker when I told him I was helping a local organization clean up a vacant house that they own. Why do we have this mentality that the only time that we should do any type of community service is when you’re on probation? Do we understand that it’s up to us to help our own community? We are so quick to say “oh we don’t have this, we don’t have that”, but what are we doing to help ourselves. That would solve alot of problems we have today. Stop waiting on a superhero to save you and save yourself.

I think it’s interesting when people are giving community service as a punishment. “You have to help your people for 300 hrs.” I stand proud when I say I do community service. It is my obligation and I enjoy it. I have no problem with going out and cleaning up a park, helping the elderly, working in a soup kitchen, volunteering at my place of worship or whatever. I am my community so therefore I am helping myself.

We as a people can not expect to move forward unless we begin to give back to the community the gives to us.


RIP Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes August 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Abeo' @ 3:12 PM
Tags: ,


Date who?!?!? (parental advisory, a few curse words used) August 6, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Abeo' @ 6:37 AM
Tags: , ,

(This post is looooong, so get comfy)

So Monday (August 4), I came home and decided to turn on the TV. Now usually I either go straight to HGTV or the NuJazz channel, but today I decided to click over to MTV to see if Run’s House was on. Well it wasn’t, instead the beginning of a show called “Date My Mom” was coming on. Now I should have just changed the channel right then and there, but me being the ever inquisitive one, decided to watch it. For the next 20 minutes, what I saw was complete scripted and poorly acted coonery. So the premise of the show is a guy dates 3 moms and then decides which girl he wants to date based on the mom. Now I guess they do 2 guys per show, but I only watched  1 1/2 because the first dude pissed me off. 

So this black guy who probably about 20 yrs I guess was supposed “fly” or whatever. He was irritating me, but I could tell he was saying what was written for him to say. Anywho, after the “introduced” him, they introduced the mom’s and their daughters. That’s when the coonery started. Why do you have 40 yr. old woman acting like teenagers? So let’s break this down:

Date #1: The dude called her by her first name, which in my book is unacceptable. The mother of any potential guy I meet is Mrs. whomever or Sis. whatever. Anyway, first he comments on her body in a really disrespectful way and she actually complements him back in a ghettofied way. They go off to their “date” which is paintballing. After that they have a chance to sit down and talk. The conversation is unbelievable. This dude is asking her about her’s daughter’s body and she’s says something like “she gets it from her momma.” Then he says something like “well can I get a preview of what I might be choosin?” Now my mom would have slapped the shit outta him with her shoe, but what does this 40 yr old grown ass woman do? Get up and dance and shake her ass. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? He takes her home.

Date #2: This mom is also loud and stereotypically “ghetto” as well. Now this mom is talking about how her daughter may have a new stepfather. Not only that, but dude’s shirt says “I’m A Lesbian”. Real classy to wear on a date with someone’s MOM!! So they go rock climbing. He takes off his shirt and mom makes some comment that she probably shouldn’t have. While she’s climbling the rock, he has the nerve to comment on her rear, OUT LOUD!!! Where is the respect? And when she’s climbing back down, he catches her , not by her waist, but by her ass, which he planned as shown by his face seconds before when he look at the camera.  So they go to sit down and talk, and the mom tells him she likes to go to strip clubs and wants to see what he’s got. This nigga proceeds to shake his ass in her face with her smakin’ it talkin’  about “oh yeah, shake it baby!” He finally took her home.

Date #3: This mom is married, yet still ghetto. Their date is a pole-dancing class. A POLE-DANCING CLASS FOR A DATE WITH SOMEONE’S MOM?? So he takes off his shirt and this married woman is talking about his body or whatever. Then they proceed to work the pole and the floor. Complete bullshit. So during their talking section, she talking about her daughter talking about “yeah she thick on the top and bottom like her mom and she like to crump”. Then this married woman has the nerve to get up and shake her ass like’s she’s crumping. They go home.

Now for the second guy, who was bi-racial (i think he was half-Black half-Japanese) and was an aspiring rapper, the 2 dates I saw where actually ok.

Date #1: He came to the house and introduced himself. Mom didn’t talk all loud, didn’t act like a stuck up valley girl.  She acted like a mom. Since he is part Japanese, he took her to a place where you can do martial arts. It was really nice, then they talked about her daughter, he likes, dislikes, school, A REAL FREAKIN’ DATE!!!

Date #2: This mom was also cool. Her jokes were lame, but hey, at least she wasn’t shakin’ her ass. They went to some place where you can make hand puppets. He asked Mom about the daughter and created the puppet based on that. Then he asked the mom some questions and asked her to answer in the form of her puppet-daughter lol. It was really sweet.

I didn’t catch the 3rd date because I was still pissed at the first segment, plus I had somewhere to go. Is this what we have come too? It’s bad enough that black women are portrayed as hos and bitches, but do we needs mom’s on MTV doing it? I mean, these mom were completely outta line. And what really pissed me off, THE LINES WERE SCRIPTED!!!! That means someone sat down and wrote that bullshit and these dumbasses had the nerve to say it!!! Now why wasn’t the second segment ghettofied? The dude was an aspiring rapper. They shoulda been wild right? Who knows.

The whole show is just an example of how little respect people have for each other and how greedy TV exes are to get a hit show. You would think that a guy would be on his P’s and Q’s if he were meeting moms. But I guess since he had the choice it was irrelevant. But when is enough enough? When will we as black woman stand up and say “Now, this shit is taking it too far”. Am I the only one who feels that way? Or am I overreacting?



Stay tuned, for another moment in the life………………………….